so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
