I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
