our cab driver is having phone sex.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
