I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize