If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
