the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
