I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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