Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
