remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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