my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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