I will die if light touches me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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