I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
