new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
