I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize