I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
