Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
