She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it was like having sex with a tree stump
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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