Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Someone shit on the floor
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
