My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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