I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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