Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
