I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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