Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just googled if crying burns calories
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
