You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
