you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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