i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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