she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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