Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
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only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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