i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
