yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize