hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
barbara walters just said penis...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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