What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
