OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
