After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
