i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
