Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
accomplished twins. life is a go
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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