I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
