PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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