Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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