I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize