Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
