apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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