after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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