so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
