So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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