I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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