...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
