i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
