guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
