just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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