my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
