Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
