The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he shaved USA in his pubs
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I'm really busy with my period
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