Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
