Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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