Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
