WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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