You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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