is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
