whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
