I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
