I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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