I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
These tits shall not be calmed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
