didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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