I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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